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EQ - is the measure of Emotional Intelligence. Unlike IQ, it can be developed using tools and techniques.
EQ is vitally important especially during the high-stress situation we now find ourselves in with COVID-19. This is because it helps us to control our behaviours and perform better in our roles as leaders and within teams.
In 70% of the time high performers in business have higher EQ scores than average performers.
Core attitudes - these have been instilled in us since childhood and they can influence how we regard others.
Feelings - How people behave and express themselves can make you feel a certain way - for example lower your self-esteem. Self-awareness is understanding why we feel a certain way in certain situation.
Actions - this is about learning how to manage your own actions as well as empathise with others. The ability to recognise triggers in yourself and others and reacting in the right way to control our behaviour.
Having low EQ can mean we hold back our emotions for fear of seeming weak
People can view us as being aggressive or volatile in certain situations
It can lead to low personal power and trigger a fight or flight response
We often learn about EQ, but we miss the opportunity to learn how to apply it in a business sense.
Often leaders with high IQ can find it difficult to gain trust from colleagues, especially if they have low particularly low EQ. However, we can train this. It is in our interest to train ourselves as; on average people with high EQ earn 30% more than those with lower EQ. Those with High EQ often outperform and become the best in their field.
Value of self and others
Awareness of self and others
Flexibility and Adaptability
We can focus on what we can control and not dwell on what we cannot control
We can use positive self-talk to help us control our triggers and fight or flight response
Right now we are all united by COVID-19, lockdown situation and a lack of control and security, possibly even fear.
Focus on what we can control. We can’t change the impact the virus is having on our business, but we can control our response to it
Do a Body scan if you start to notice triggers - do you feel hungry? Tired? Why am I feeling this way?
Move away from instinct and and into intuition by monitoring our ‘self-talk’ in a positive way
Choose language that is appropriate in a business sense. Rather than say ‘that makes me upset’, say ‘I feel overwhelmed when x happens and I could do with a break’ separate it from emotions which may make others feel uncomfortable.
Sip those green cocktails - and generate calm hormones Oxytocin and Serotonin
Our brain operates in a different way when we are feeling under pressure - the primitive brain gets activated. Using the traffic light analogy - If someone is low in EQ they are easily ‘activated’ and they move into the brains ‘Amber’ Limbic system very quickly, often due to reminders of what has happened to them previously - from here they go into ‘Red’ protection mode or fight or flight.
We want to avoid being activated - get ourselves into the safer ‘green’ part of brain, where we are in control. To help do this whilst in the Limbic Amber part of the brain we can ask ourselves questions such as - What else can I do? What choices do I have and what outcome do I want?
By using collaborative language we can also help others move out of their limbic system (Amber) by asking questions such as, How can we can help? - what can I do? What do you need? How can we make this happen? Using ‘we’ to collaborate -using language to build trust.
Founder and Head Coach of 'Best Hopes Coaching and Consulting', Jane is a highly skilled, experienced and dynamic coach and occupational psychologist. She offers leadership, team and organisational development.
A Registered Psychologist and Conversational Intelligence Enhanced Practioner™, Jane combines principles from the fields of Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Solution Focus and Emotional Intelligence to enable you and your organisation realise its potential.
Jane offers individual coaching, development coaching, executive coaching, career coaching and help yourself be happier coaching